


you're a sunflower (i think your love would be too much)

by vlushii



Category: DanPlan, actuallyoddplan
Genre: AT LEAST NOT YET IDK, Fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, THEY'RE NOT DATING????, a tiny dab of angst, idk how that got there pls forgive me, idk i just thought jaysuh caring for an infant like foster wholesome dads would b cute, ivsuh is also a very respected good ship i love!!!, my weak attempt at humor, no beta we die like jay's cactuses, shoutout to halo n clover for making me relive jaysuh again, they're two halves of a whole idiot your honor, this is a kidfic, this was supposed to be a short oneshot, we're gonna pretend they ain't quarantined in this fic ok, what happened, yes jaysuh is well alive and thriving in this au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25069957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vlushii/pseuds/vlushii
Summary: ೃ࿔₊• jay doesn’t think he’s seeing things clearly. either it’s too early in the morning for him to be hallucinating or he really needs to go check his eyesight because a bad hangover is not supposed to be resulting in him waking up having groggy vision and a massive headache as a literal infant is blinking up at him with big doe eyes.┊❝ he’s my child. ❞ jay blurts out, without thinking, because for the 23rd time, it really is too early for his braincells to assemble.❝ what. ❞ hosuh says.❝ 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩. ❞ stephen’s grainy voice says louder, from the phone.
Relationships: Jay Ko/Hosuh Lee
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	you're a sunflower (i think your love would be too much)

**Author's Note:**

> ˚✩ i’m very aware ivsuh is a confirmed ship and i respect!! silver haired angel babies have my heart, but. ukno. a jaysuh stan's gotta do what they gotta do to keep themselves from being famished, therefore this fic will be jaysuh yes, but their affections/feelings towards each other is gonna be subtle (i’ll try lol) but still. two guys struggling to take care of an infant! what could go wrong? (btw in this au hos doesn’t know of blank just for,, conveniences lol don’t get me wrong i love her ♡ ‧₊ ༉

> it’s 7am in the morning of a quiet saturday. and honestly hosuh couldn’t ask for anything better.

curling his dainty fingers around the soft dull green mug, he takes a sip, sweet hot chocolate engulfing his taste buds as a wave of energy buzzes into his bloodstream, jolting him awake. ah yes, he really could not ask for anything better, he thinks, occassionaly blowing a few times to simmer down the heat of the scorching drink before continuing to sip.

he was honestly going to finish it, eyes staring down, trained on the remains of warm chocolate liquid, swirling around in the mug. he _was_ going to finish it. that is, until a loud and quite hurried round of knocks began on his doorstep, startling him out of his daze.

an eyebrow is shot raised in confusion on hosuh’s face as he begins nervously gnawing on his bottom lip. surely, _surely_ he can ignore it right? it’s probably just the mailman delivering a parcel, not for him probably, he couldn’t really remembering ordering anything off online, therefore this package must be for his roomate, currently snoozing off and blissfully ignoring anything else other than his peaceful slumber. surely the mailman could’ve taken the hint of silence inside the apartment and just drop off the package right then and there, right?

however, the series of knocks never ceased to stop, nor did it cool down as it seemed the knocks were quite scaringly increasing in force and sound. sighing, as he felt like he had no other choice, hosuh abandoned his oh so warm mug of hot chocolate before gently padding over towards the door, his light blue cotton socks (that had soft white bunnies sowed into the fabric), making his steps a tad bit lighter, the fuzzy material easily making him glide across the cool tile floor, almost as if he were skating on air.

cautiously, he reached up to the tip of toes to take a quick peek through the door’s peephole, eyebrows furrowing as his eye focused on the view of a girl, possibly taller than him in height, because of _course_ every girl he wants to make a good impression on has to glance down at him as if he were a small puppy, rather than of the man he wishes he could be in his head. 

the girl, through the peephole, _also,_ had her eyebrows furrowed, as if _she_ wasn’t the one who had her 7am morning saturday ruined because a stranger whom she had _no_ history with began knocking furiously on her doorstep as if it were the end of the world. _no,_ thinks hosuh. he is not going to take out his disappointment and bitter petty attitude on a girl he has never met. manners first, he nods to himself, straightening himself as he prepares a quick pep talk before he opens the door.

he wasn’t really good at talking to strangers to begin with, anyway.

and as the door creaks open and hosuh begins to meekly appear behind the door, (as if he were using it as his last line of defence between him and the stranger) he notices that the girl in front of him is, indeed a few inches taller than him. 

“oh! i didn’t expect to see you, hello! you must be jay’s roomate, i pressume?” the girl gently exclaims, though her facial features a minute ago seemed to suggest otherwise. 

hosuh confirms by giving the girl a small nod, still not shying away from the corner of the door. he suddenly feels so incredibly small, as this girl stands in front of him, almost as if _towering_ over him, and he knows it’s an exaggeration but he really just wants to fling himself away from the door and huddle into his blankets and never again reappear to the world. 

“you may not know me, to clear things up, i’m jay’s friend!” the girl continues, practically ignoring hosuh’s weak attempt of continuing a conversation and hosuh is so very grateful towards this stranger he practically met 2 seconds ago. he _really_ did not know how to carry out conversations, so he was a bit relieved that awkward silence did not immediately swallow him up whole, as the girl spoke for him instead. 

said girl, didn’t really seem to be a threat whatsoever, as hosuh’s eyes begin to rake down the form of this stranger, from the top of her neatly combed strands of fiery red hair that were tied into a long low ponytail, to the gentle features of her now smoothed out face, the wrinkles of frustration on her forehead completely gone after hosuh had answered the door. her eyes gleamed a gentle honey gold, almost as if bathing in the now rising sun, overflowing with warmth and perhaps hosuh felt a tad bit safer around her. 

and just as he was about to ask her “ _excuse me madam i literally have not seen you once in my entire life, may i ask what business do you have in interrupting my peaceful morning on a saturday at 7am? ”_ (okay that might’ve sound a bit blunt in his head, but still. it _was_ a saturday after all.), the loud sound of a pitiful cry broke through his thoughts, his eyebrows slowly rising up in confusion as he watches the girl fumble in embarrassment, hands reaching out towards the— _oh, a stroller. huh, he hadn’t seen that before. had it just materialised out of thin air or was he dreaming?_

in the girl’s arms, she carried a small bundle of baby blue blanket, (the color somewhat similar to hosuh’s very own blue cotton fuzzy socks he is _still_ wearing, but was hidden thankfully by his slippers before he answered the door because if the girl had found out that he was _indeed,_ shorter than her _and_ wore fuzzy bunny socks? he think he’d shrivel up into thin air) and it was obvious to see a very tiny yet struggling movement of squirming and— _oh, hosuh realises yet again. in this girl’s arms was most likely a child, right? judging by the cry he heard earlier. if it was an animal though,, out of all genuine respect he really had for this girl, but from the bottom of his heart, he’d think he’d have to slam the door shut on her face._ it wasn’t like he didn’t love animals, he really did. but this was honestly just a bit too much information to take in.

just as he was about to clear his throat and ask for further questions, another loud sound (that sounded awfully similar to a classic alarm ringtone of a phone) pierced through the air, joining the small,, being still cradled in the girl’s arms, cries, and hosuh could already feel a headache seeping through across his temple. 

“oh shi— i meant flip. that must be my cue.” the red haired girl mumbled, fumbling probably for her phone in her back pockets of her jeans, carefully trying not to drop the small being held in her arms, as the crying did not quiet down whatsoever. 

hosuh winced, unsure whether or not to lend a hand or not, because for all he know, this loud,, _thing_ in the girl’s arms was creating quite a disturbing of a commotion, and he’d probably get his ears yelled off by his neighbors of the loud noise. yep, he’d certainly get an earful of complaints from a situation he had no control over whatsoever and a problem he _really_ did not want to get himself in at all. 

eventually the constant annoying ringing of the alarm died off, the only noise remaining were the loud cries of what hosuh hopes, would be an infant and not a rare one of a kind species of an animal that somehow sounded _very_ conceriningly alike compared to a human baby. 

the red haired girl finally sighed in exhaustion, and glanced towards him, eyes meeting his and for a moment, hosuh feels a pang in his heart, as he sees the now obvious dark circles around the girl’s eyes, eyebags probably heavier than his roomate’s college debt. it really wasn’t this girl’s fault at her, hosuh thinks to himself, taking the benefit of the doubt. but really, what was she even doing outside at 7am on a saturday morning on _his_ doorstep with a crying living thing in her arms? 

“i’m _really_ sorry about everything. i know this might be a shock to you and everything because you might be wondering what i’m doing at your doorstep at 7am in the morning on a _saturday,_ for christ’s sake and i’m wondering that too to be honest, and i’m rambling and going off tangent anyways i’m _really really_ sorry about this.” the girl continues on, and hosuh, because other people tell him he’s an angel, pretends to listen, nodding his head in confusion though her words go through his right ear and out the left. 

“i have to go.” the girl finally blurts out, and those four words make hosuh’s head snap to attention, as he tries to push down the gleeful feeling clawing at his gut that was telling him, _yes! you can finally be free from this social interaction and go finish your hot cocoa!_

“your roomate will explain everything later. i _really_ have to go. it’s an emergency. once again, i’m really sorry about troubling you and possibly ruining your saturday plans, gotta go!” and just like that, the long red fiery strands of the girl’s hair wave back and forth, almost slapping him in the face as it almost seemingly waves him a goodbye in a mocking way, and afterwards, a gentle shove against his chest and a heavy weight in his arms as he fumbles to catch something.

he’s still in a daze because honestly, what in the world? 

the girl just disappears into thin air like that and it’s the loud echoing cries that snaps him out of his daze, the object weighing in his arms that slowly began to drag his twig like arms down with it. his fingers clutch tightly around the weight and _oh— he realises for the fucking hundredth time, it’s a soft baby blue cotton blanket, tightly wrapped around the previous thing that was in the girl’s arms just a minute ago._

no, he thinks. _no_.

but the living proof of the heavy weight in his arms and the loud cries that brought a shrill headache confirms, oh _yes, indeed._

trying to hold his self control before he lets it loose and possibly joins this thing in his arms loud cries as well, he takes in a deep breath. _okay, this definitely has to be the weirdest thing he has encountered so far, and it isn’t even 8 in the morning of a saturday. okay, world, give me what you’ve got. see how much more you can ruin my peaceful morning saturday._

he is an adult. he is in college. he pays taxes and his bills, (although he does have trouble adding basic numbers without a calculator, but we won't talk about that), he can handle this situation. life is always about ups and downs anyways, is what people always tell him. he’s bound to encounter something strange like this one day, right? perhaps something even _more_ weirder because life is always full of surprises! as the optimistic saying goes. 

life is like a box of chocolates, he thinks to himself. _you never know what you’re gonna get,_ as he stares down at the heavy living thing that sits uncomfortably in his arms. he glances at the stroller, taking a good look at it, bright yellow crescent moons and stars flickering like gold in the now rising sun, though the dark navy blue fabric that coated the stoller complemented the whole thing together, as if it resembled the night sky with stars and moons strewn across the fabric, painting a whole galaxy. and as he glance back at the huddled face of this creature, covered by the soft fluffy baby blue blanket, _this must be the centre of it’s universe._

he takes a breath in. and out. 

okay, first things first, obviously this girl ditched everything in her arms a moment ago, dumping into him, the stroller, the blanket, this creature, the responsibilities, and the head splitting ache that begun to rose. it was pretty clear that the girl with red hair was not coming back. he prays that she would come collect everything up and _away_ from him sooner or later. that is, if she even ever considers returning back, and just the thought of the possibility makes hosuh’s skin crawl, making him push down his thoughts.

in one arm, he carefully shifts the heavy thing onto his right arm, the blanket being gently nestled into the crook of his elbow, as his left arm reaches out to grab the handle of the stroller, wheeling it inside pass the door, welcoming it into the apartment and the realisation finally hits him like a wave, so hard that he almost stumbles as the grip around the stroller handle tightens, making his knuckles turn a ghostly white. 

_oh, (for the goddamn nth time) this is really happening._

the stroller is inside his apartment, and the thing in his arms had not stopped crying one bit. it makes hosuh bite his lip out of,, fear? excitement? nervousness? his emotions are a whirlpool of a mess right now. he honestly was just looking for a weekend relaxation of a morning, but now all of his plans related to relaxation have been practically thrown out the window because the universe _hates_ him. 

_okay, well, let’s get this over with then._ he thinks to himself in defeat, taking a seat onto the couch that was near him, arms tense as he gently cradles the heavy thing in his arms into a slightly more comfortable position, surprised as the cries that had begun to gently quiet down, though that didn’t mean it had quite fully stopped.

_god, please don’t be some sort of animal, plese don’t be some sort of animal, please don’t be some sort of anim— and oh. (he lost count of how many times he said that word in his head by now)_

as one of his fingers gently hooked around the fluffy blanket that coated the living creature, he pulled it down slowly, revealing thankfully, not the furs, not feathers, nor scales of an animal, but rather, as his fingers made brief contact of the smooth skin of ( _yes thank god), a human,_ his movements stopped and faltered and his eyes widened, staring down at the large baby blue orbs that stared right back up at him.

suddenly, the world seemed to stop spinning and time simply begun to stop existing, and the cries of the _baby_ ceased to a stop.

_okay,_ hosuh gulps. _this was not what he was expecting, at all. but. it could be worse right? it could be a weird animal hosuh does not know how to care for and he would probably scare himself half to death since he might’ve died right there and then on the spot from stress and anxiety, or from the animal that could possibly eat him up. (that’s dramatic but, still.) but a human baby? okay, his own species, his own kind, a homo sapien jr. yes, he could deal with this, probably, hopefully. but then again he knows absolutely nothing of the sorts of how to take care of an infant. he can’t even remember to feed himself sometimes, how on earth is he going to make sure this baby survives for 24 hours?_

the baby’s attention was still focused on him, it’s round blue orbs that hosuh thought couldn’t get any bigger, did. and hesitantly, his fingers gently pushed back a small strand of platinum blonde hair that stuck _very_ oddly out of place, possibly from the squirming behind the blanket and all. unaware of it’s reaction, he didn’t really expect much, but as he felt the soft small delicate touch around his own finger his eyes flickered downwards and he sucks in a small breath, _oh._

the baby’s tiny whole hand was gently holding his one big finger. and although he had only met this infant for a brief moment, his heart immediately burst with fondness at the sight of the size difference of their hands. perhaps, this wouldn’t be so bad at all, he thinks, realising that the cries of the baby had stopped ever since it’s eyes had locked on towards him. 

it hadn’t looked away from him for a single moment.

then, the familiar echoing voice of the girl’s voice that was standing in front of his doorstep minutes ago, came floating back, words dancing around his head. 

_“ your roomate will explain everything later.”_

right, hosuh thinks, as he breaks his gaze away from the baby in his arms, glancing towards the other end of the hall, the door that was probably locked, where it shielded away his roomate, still most likely drooling on his pillow and ignoring his cries for help. _his roomate._

god, his roomate was gonna have a lot of explaining to do. 

________________________

jay doesn’t think he’s seeing things clearly. either it’s too early in the morning for him to be hallucinating or he really needs to go check his eyesight because a bad hangover is not supposed to be resulting in him waking up having groggy vision and a massive headache as a literal infant is blinking up at him with big doe eyes. 

he rubs his eyes. blinks once, then twice. should he go to the bathroom to wash his face? because the baby is still there, bright blue eyes with flecks that resembled the ocean's tidal waves gleamed up at him with curiousity. then, jay's eyes shift over towards hosuh, whose calmly sitting on the arm of the couch, cradling this infant in his arms, with the most straight looking face jay has ever seen hosuh put on. 

"there's a kid." jay begins, because he doesn't know if he's still dreaming or not.

"yes." hosuh replies, as if there's nothing wrong and there isn't a tiny child sitting in front of him.

"in your arms." jay continues, because honestly what the fuck? who is this kid and what is it doing in his apartment and _in_ hosuh's arms?

"i can see that." hosuh nods, eyes still trained on him, as if waiting for an explanation but it's too early in the morning for jay to be dealing with this, despite it being 8:30 in the morning of a saturday. 

what the fuck, jay thinks for the second time. and "what the fuck" is what comes out of his mouth seconds later because he doesn't know what else to say.

immediately, hosuh's eyes begin to narrow, as if _glaring_ at him, like jay had offended him somehow. what's wrong with cursing? jay thinks, he's done it plenty of times, hosuh's done it plenty of times.. unless, jay managed to piss him off on a saturday morning? that would be highly unlikely for the other male to get mad at him, but then again when he got mad, _he got mad._ so jay tries to think of all the possible offending stunts he could've pulled off in front of hosuh in the last 24 hours, but his mind is swept blank as his eyes are still staring at the baby in front of him. 

"no cursing in front of the child." hosuh finally says out loud, and oh, jay realises that the other's hands were tightly shielding the baby's ears, as if blocking out the profanity jay had just spewed out a second ago without any careless thought. _oh,_ is what jay mouths to himself silently.

it's only until minutes of awkward silence until a small high pitched gurgling sound comes from the baby, eyes beaming with wonder as if jay had strung stars in the night sky, clapping it's small hands together and kicking it's legs in excitement, _still_ staring at jay, long eyelashes batting at him. " _fwuck! "_ is the first thing that comes out of the child's mouth and in horror, jay clamps his mouth shut with his hand, eyes growing wide to the size of saucers, ignoring hosuh shooting him a dirty glare from across the room. 

well, jay gulps. fuck indeed.

________________________

_**jay (08:52am)**_

so what would u do if one day you woke up

and there was a baby on your doorstep

asking for a friend thx.

_**stephen (08:55am)**_

what the fuck????

i have so many questions rn

do you have a baby on your doorstep

_**jay (08:55am)**_

that's supposed to be my question

_**stephen (08:56am)**_

DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A BABY ON YOUR DOORSTEP  
AT THIS VERY MINUTE ANSWER THE QUESTION.

_**jay (08:56am)**_

i cannot confirm nor deny this statement ur honor

_**stephen (08:57am)**_

i'm calling u rn.

u better pick it up or i'm coming over.

_**incoming call :: stephen** _

_**08 : 57 am** _

**_decline | answer_ **

jay lets out a sigh for the nth time. it isn't even _nine_ yet and he's already got to deal with this massive hangover and hosuh possibly hating his guts and a literal child that materialised out of nowhere. this really isn't the time to hear stephen's loud annoying voice blaring through the phone, but with the feeling of hosuh practically glaring holes through his back, jay's fingers swipe right to answer the call, even though the decline option looks _very_ appealing today. 

" _what the fuck??"_ is the first thing that comes through the phone and jay lets out a wince. yeah, he's been wondering that too. 

"good morning to you too." jay says.

"good morning my ass. explain. is there a kid on your doorstep or not." stephen says, and if jay could see him right now, the vision of the purple haired male with his finers rubbing the spot between his eyebrows was projected very clearly in his mind. 

"..yes?" jay sheepishly replies, glancing over towards the kid that was nestled very comfortably on hosuh's lap, still staring at him like he was a unicorn or mythical creature of some sort. suddenly he began to feel the slightest bit of conscience creeping up on him. he literally just woke up, had not washed his face nor brush his teeth, nor comed his hair. god, his hair probably looked like the mane of a lion right now. 

oh well, his pride wasn't really up on the charts to begin with.

"whose child is it?" stephen finally says after a long stretch of silence, voice finally calming down. 

jay's gaze focuses on the child now, his dirty blonde hair that was swept to the back of his head very neatly, clean and pristined, very much unlike jay's own hair. then, he finds his eyes locked onto hosuh's blue ones. it's only until then that he realises the difference between the kid's eyes and hosuh's. (even though both orbs are a similar shade of blue) the kid's eyes were bright blue, a soft color similar to the bright sky at midday, while hosuh's eyes gleamed like the darkest of the nights, the deepest depths of the seas, and yet bright blue flecks could be seen whenever jay glanced at him from time to time. 

shaking his thoughts out of his head, he turns his back on both of them, focusing his attention onto the phone. _right, stephen._

but what comes out of his mouth is _very_ unexpected, that he doesn't even have time to comprehend what comes flying out of his mouth the next second. 

"he’s my child." jay blurts out, without thinking, because for the 23rd time, it really is too early for his braincells to assemble.

another long silence falls on top of everybody like a big blanket, and it only takes a few seconds for jay to realise what he just said out loud, eyes almost bulging out of his head as he slowly turns around to hosuh, whose eyes have similarily joined him in size.

"what." hosuh says. 

_"what."_ stephen’s grainy voice says louder, from the phone.

"alright, anyways—" jay abruptly says, ignoring the loud yell of " _what do you mean anyways you fuckin-"_ coming from stephen through the phone. "—nice talk, good chat, i'll leave you to your peaceful saturday, _goodbye now!"_ jay says with a tone so overly sweet, sugar dripping venomously from his tongue, before abruptly tapping the 'end call' button on his phone with great force. 

stephen's loud cursing finally comes to a halt and jay lets out a sigh yet again. he glances to the clock that seems to be ticking seconds away with great pity. it's nine am. on the morning of a saturday. he groans, rubbing a hand across his face. this was not how he expected his saturday morning to go. 

_**stephen (09:05am)**_

why tf did you hang up on me

i thought you were in a crisis 

_**jay (09:07am)**_

i am.

_**stephen (09:07am)**_

ok

what the fuck

_**jay (09:11am)**_

if ur gonna keep swearing profanities every 10 secs

and the kid hears it hos will not let go of your ear by the end of the day

i speak from experience 

_**stephen (09:12am)**_

hos is with u??

how is he not panicking rn

nvm i bet it's bc he's got more braincells than you

_**jay (09:12am)**_

choke.

_**stephen (09:16am)**_

no. ❤️

anyways u never told me you hooked up with somebody

and the next day a child is on your doorstep

you have 5 secs to explain or i will drive over there at the speed of light

_**jay (09:18am)**_

see i rlly wish i have an explanation that i could answer with full confidence

but

then again idk either

_**stephen (09:22am)**_

then why'd u say it's ur child?????

when it's obviously not????

god i was right about you having no braincells

_**jay (09:22am)**_

stfu.

are you here to help me or make fun of me get with it

I PANICKED OKAY

_**stephen (09:25am)**_

i rlly wish i could help you

but

this is really funny hang on

_**jay (09:26am)**_

i hope you choke on your spit while laughing.

and die.

_**stephen (09:27am)**_

romantic.

but no

anyways ok u don't know who this kid is

_**jay (09:27am)**_

yes

am i supposed to?

_**stephen (09:29am)**_

u should be asking and answering that question yourself

and u don't know where this kid came from

_**jay (09:30am)**_

affirmative

_**stephen (09:30am)**_

you my friend 

are a mess

_**jay (09:31am)**_

tell me something i already don't know

_**stephen (09:33am)**_

u don't have enough braincells

_**jay (09:34am)**_

BLOCKED.

"okay, okay." jay mutters to himself. the first step that would be wise was to probably calm the fuck down, in which he wasn't doing right now. he turns towards hosuh, whose still staring at him with a somewhat sympathetic expression in his eyes before it disappeared into a cold hard stare. 

"haha." he laughs nervously, fingers tugging through the knots of blonde hair on his head. 

hosuh lets out a sigh, eyebrows knotting together and jay feels the slightest twinge of guilt in his heart. "you should go wash up. i'll take care of the kid." he says, silver hair loosely tied into a low ponytail, several hair strands very out of place that slung over his shoulder. "try not to have a mental breakdown in the bathroom." he adds, wincing a bit and it makes jay snort. _yeah, he'll try not to._

the second the door shuts with a loud click, jay immediately slides his back against the door and onto the floor, rubbing his temples as it throbbed painfully. _yes, he is totally going to have a meltdown._

he eventually pulls himself together, splashing his face a couple of times, occassionaly pinching his skin to see if he was dreaming and to his dismay, he wasn't. brushing his teeth and combing the messy strands of hair that sprung out back again with every tug and pull of the comb, he sighed in defeat, hands reaching out to grab the corners of the sink as he stares into his reflection in the mirror. 

_okay. he can do this._

it's when he steps out of the bathroom that he realises it.

_he cannot do this._

it's not like the kid is hanging upside down on the ceiling or anything and the kitchen is in flames and hosuh is nowhere to be found. somehow a sick twisted part in jay wants that to come true, so that he wouldn't have to be so paranoid worried about every goddamn little thing ever since this living baby has showed up in the front of their doorstep without any explanation. 

the kitchen is fine, spotless even, thanks to hosuh's weekly friday spring cleaning. the kid is not hanging upside down on the ceiling and the kitchen isn't in flames. _ok, good._ jay thinks. his eyes travel towards the sounds that came from the kitchen, where hosuh is whipping up a smoothie, and if jay squints, he can see blueberries, half a banana, and a large carton of 2% reduced-fat cow milk and _wow,_ he thinks. hosuh has really got it down.

he keeps his appearance hidden, hiding behind the corner of the wall as he watches the blender whirr loudly, mixing the ingredients and liquid together into a perfectly nutritional healthy breakfast. _yeah, okay._ he'll probably leave most of the things to hosuh to take care of the baby, since. well, he honestly thought he was gonna have to feed cheerios to the kid for breakfast, and as he thinks back on it, that might be a bad idea. 

jay watches as the kid sits on the table, swinging it's short stubby legs back and forth, eyes trained on the back of hosuh, yet to notice his prescence, which jay is thankful for. eventually the smoothie blender comes to a stop and hosuh pours the contents into a small glass, before putting it in the microwave and punching in numbers, waiting for it to heat and _yeah, hosuh totally has it down. but that doesn't mean jay is gonna be a dick and not help out his roomate. he's mean but he's not that mean._

he makes his prescence announced as he quietly walks into the kitchen, trying to ignore the heavy trained gaze to his side from the baby who has now shifted it's attention to him. "so." jay begins. "good morning?" the greeting comes off as more of a question than a statement and it makes jay cringe inwardly, offering a small smile as hosuh turns around to face him, arms crossed, and leaning against the kitchen counter, and _oh_ jay is definitely gonna get his ass beaten.

"girl with red hair." hosuh finally says and it snaps jay out of his thoughts.

"what?"

the other male lets out a soft airy sigh, and jay thinks that hosuh might have sighed more times than him this morning. "she came at 7am this morning with this kid. shoved it into my arms along with the stroller and told me that it was an emergency, and that my _roomate_ would explain everything later." hosuh explains and jay really tries to pretend to ignore the venomous spit that was thrown into the word _'roomate'._

girl with red hair. are the words that continuously repeat itself as it echoes in his mind.

girl. with red hair. 

blank?

immediately he shoots his posture up, from lazily leaning on the wall to straightening his back up, eyes bright and wild and it makes hosuh raise an eyebrow up. "hang on." jay says, fumbling for his phone, shaky fingers reaching out to swipe forward and unlock it, before scrolling through the numerous of emails from university he has yet to read (they're probably along the lines of asking him whenever he's going to pay his debt back — in which, excuse him, education should _not_ be this expensive and capitalism should _not_ have to whip him every 3 seconds when he's already _this_ broke.) and messages from contacts whom he does _not_ know of in the first place. 

he scrolls furiously through what seems like an eternity until his fingers hover over the messages shared between him and blank. he squints, trying to remember what on _earth_ could've happened in the last 24 hours with blank that somehow ended with him having a literal _child_ on his doorstep on a saturday morning. _a saturday, of all days._

**_blank (new unread messages since 02:24am)_ **

hey so im coming over at like around 7 am tmr

ur dumbass is probably still hungover so i'm not surprised 

if you don't answer the door and ur roomate does

so

still onboard right? right

so ur gonna be taking care of my nephew 

like i told you last night

if you remember 

i don't rlly trust you to take care of my nephew

but if i'm putting him in ur hands that means i'm desperate ok

take care of him for me !!! if you don't then enjoy your last day of living <3

necessities are in the stroller

if he gets upset and starts crying uncontrollably then

uh good luck to u and ur roomate lol 

i also trust ur roomate more ngl (from what i've heard abt him)

since he seems more sensible than u so yeah

i'll be back to pick him up around 7 pm no later than that

ok bye thank u!!!!

(p.s if ur panicking dw my phone is powered off snooze mode the whole day <333)

(p.p.s don't swear in front of the child.)

_**jay (10:12am) now** _

blank <3

what 

and i cannot stress this enough

the fuck

@$((*#?#@$!?

the message, of course, goes unread even as a few minutes go by and jay bites his lip before locking his phone screen, tilting his head up to meet hosuh's gaze that was _still_ on him. 

"you don't remember." hosuh says, letting out an exasperated sigh yet again, as if jay disappointed him somehow. 

"it would seem so." jay mutters, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, a thing he always does when he gets uneasy. "sorry," he quietly says.

hosuh's eyes seemed to soften a bit after that as he nods his head in understanding because he's an _angel, bless his soul._ "the girl you saw earlier, her name is blank. she's.. a friend of mine in drinking, you could say. don't worry though! she's bringing her kid back at 7pm sharp, no later, no worries!" jay quickly says, voice going a noticeably tone higher than usual, trying his best to be convincing. 

"she has a kid?" hosuh asks, raising an eyebrow, as the soft _'ding!'_ of a microwave echoes in the background. 

"well no it's not technically _hers,_ but it's her nephew." jay informs, watching as hos turns around and opens the microwave, pulling out the glass and dipping his pinky finger in for a quick moment, before brushing it past into his lips, pink tongue darting out to swipe the milkshake's contents and jay definitely does _not_ spend a few more than 10 seconds staring at hosuh's lips. that is _so_ gay, jay can clearly hear stephen's mocking tone in his head. (as if he were here, but thankfully he's not) 

"anything else?" hosuh hums, reaching up to grab a straw from the cabinets and jay does not miss the way the smaller male has to slightly shift on the tip of his toes to reach it. hosuh's question makes jay snap out of his daze. "what?" he asks. is hosuh _really_ going to pressure jay into confessing his darkest secrets and possibly sins even _more?_ he can't even remember what happened yesterday that lead to having a kid on his doorstep and he certainly does _not_ remember what he ate most of the times, even _if_ he did eat, he couldn't even remember by now. 

his memory is that of the size of a goldfish.

"y'know, the kid's age, name, emergency contact number in case.." hosuh's voice trails off, turning to him, raising yet _another_ eyebrow as if jay single-handedly commited arson and had pleaded guilty. "what," jay says. "you really think we couldn't keep this kid whom's age and name and emergency contact number i do not know," (jay has to take a breath before he continues) "alive for 24 hours? you're underestimating me and my capabilities _and_ hurting my feelings too, you know." he knows he's being whiny. but. usually his pouty tone is what gets hosuh to lay off the hook (most times) anyways.

"wanna bet on it?" 

jay immediately lets out a rather loud overdramatic over-the-top gasp, hands reaching up to clutch his chest. "you're really going to bet over the life of a _child,_ hosuh? i thought i knew you better than this! where has my angel gone and who is this imposter. i want my hoho back." 

jay _really_ needs to think twice— no, _thrice,_ about what he says, before he realises it. the tips of hosuh's ear was now coated in a fine cotton candy pink, blush sugar-coating across his cheeks, his eyes looking away, looking everywhere that _isn't_ on jay and for the slightest moment, jay feels the second-hand embarrassment creeping up on him. "ahaha. joke." he lamely says, once again, rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward posture, before turning his attention towards the child, who has _still_ not taken it's stare off of him, nor has he moved from his spot the slightest from the table.

really, was jay _that_ good-bad-looking? did he have something on his face? was he that interesting to make this child look at him like he was something else _other_ than human? 

"hey there, little fella." jay begins, taking initiative and taking long prideful steps towards the toddler who was swinging his small legs that hovered oh-so-high from the ground and jay will be damned if another step closer ends up with him doubling over and holding his crotch in pain as the kid kicks into the place where the sun doesn't shine, so, he mantains his distance, taking his spot beside the kid and ruffling the strands of blonde on top of the kid's head affectionately, heart blooming into warmth as he hears the kid's bell chime of giggles, eyes crinkling up into small crescents and nose scrunching up into the most _adorable_ look and it takes all of jay's self control to not coo at the small boy. 

"see, he likes me already." jay says, as if proving hosuh's point wrong, not missing the way the other's eyes seemed to roll, (even though they didn't, because hosuh is too well-mannered for that but jay could've _sworn_ he saw it happened out from the corner of his eye) before turning back to the kid, mimicking his expression by letting out a small smile, and scrunching up his nose, eyebrows furrowed and it makes the kid clap happily, legs swinging even more wildly, back and forth as if it were amused.

"hm." is all hosuh replies after a while, and jay realises when he glances up that the pretty blush that had once spread along the other's cheeks and down the side of his nape had disappeared, sadly, to jay's dismay. "how do you know the kid's a boy?" 

jay shrugs. "lucky guess? i mean," he adds, lowering his tone into a hushed whisper, hand covering the side of his face that the kid was looking to. "we _could_ check right now, if that's what you want?" 

"please don't harrass the child." 

"i'm not!" jay splutters, offended. "sooner or later he'll have to— y'know, _go_ soon. it's only a matter of time and _one_ of us has gotta deal with it." 

"great." hosuh states easily, eyes boring towards jay's molten scarlet-golden eyes with such intensity that it makes jay want to cower like a dog with it's tail behind it's legs. "then you wouldn't mind taking the brunt of the punishment, will you?" 

_what._

"what." 

but all hosuh does is raise an eyebrow, crossing his arms across his chest and although that did _seem_ like a very adorable pose, with hosuh pufing his cheeks out as if it were an act to be intimidating, jay could only think of what hosuh just said. _punishment? what was he, three?_

"okay, i get you're mad at me and all," jay says, ignoring the way the puff of hosuh's cheeks seemed to grow bigger, small pout on his lips that clearly said _mad is an understatement._ "and i get that you may possibly want to fling me out any window that is near a 5 foot radius around you." jay pauses. "or you may wish to join me. it's up to you." 

it does absolutely nothing to soothe hosuh's stone-cold hard expression practically engraved onto his face.

"i'm _sorry,_ okay?" jay practically whines, pursing his lips to a big pout, for extra measures, and the two of them stay like that. lips pouted, expressions trained on their faces as they practically face off a staring contenst, waiting for whoever gives in first, both blissfully trying to ignore the heaviest of stares, coming from the child, who still sat still like a statue, unmoving, though bright blue eyes gleamed brightly, flickering back and forth to see whoever would win. 

eventually hosuh lets out this sigh that drags out so painfully, raking across jay's chest in the air. "fine." tired, dim ocean eyes finally lifted up with no traces of fury flames.

jay just gives him a pitiful small smile, trying to be at least sympathetic. "hey, what could go wrong? we'll be the best babysitters-slash-temporary-parents for just less than 24 hours, we can totally do it. it's like. those high school projects in sex-ed class where the teacher assigns us a life-sized baby doll for partners to care for, y'know, to teach everyone that condoms are essential unless you want to end up with eyebags heavier than your college debt. how hard could it be?" 

"there was no such thing in high school, if i can recall." hosuh says, although a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips in amusement. 

"yeah well, you get my point." jay mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. he tends to rant a lot of things off-topic aloud and gets strayed into a completely new direction thrown into some unknown dimension, not thinking twice about the things he says. whether right or wrong, whether controversial or not, or whether it would take a very aggressive trump supporter to vandalise the front of his doorstep if he just so happens to raise his voice a few decibels higher as he mutters a "fuck trump, fuck capitalism, i am a slave to society." in which, was his normal morning anthem slash routine in order for him to keep going throughout the day. 

"well, we hardly know this kid's basic information, such as name, age, gender, or emergency contact number." hosuh lists off a numerous things, voice trailing off as he counts down on his fingers and that small gesture should absolutely not have made jay's heart fawn over, _what the fuck_ it wasn't even, what, 12pm yet and he was already having the hots for his roomate. 

"so you're saying a lot of things can go wrong." jay interrupts hosuh's mid-listing.

"yeah, basically." 

"well, let's look on the bright side." jay says, trying to ignore the wince on hosuh's face that practically screamed _there is no bright side, you absolute buffoon._ "a lot of things _could_ have gone wrong very quickly from the beginning." his eyes somehow magically gravitate their way towards the kid who, in return, gazed up at him. "the kid could have been crying his lungs out, i might've blacked out from seeing this child first thing on a saturday morning, the kitchen could be in flames, you might have called the cops, or, something worse." 

there's a long period of silence.

"i guess you're right." hosuh eventually musters out, uncertainty clinging onto his tongue but jay practically beams in delight. _see, all those elective courses on literature that focused on debate and persuasive essays paid off._

"therefore, i say we get our head out of our asse— i mean butts," jay quickly changes his use of words, paying mind to hosuh's sharp glare thrown to him. "and collect ourselves, you know. set ground rules, what to do, our new schedule that revolves around taking this kid and not lazing about on this saturday. and we can start off—" he trails off, sliding gracefully against the tile floors and towards the microwave, pulling out the glass that was mildly warm, perfectly nutritional and was not a choking hazard of some sort to the child, and fished out a straw from one of the top cabinets, making his way back towards the table. "—by feeding breakfast to this malnourished, starving child of ours." 

"ours?" hosuh prompts.

"well, it's technically gonna be living with us for the past 10 hours today." jay points out, gently using his hands to lift the straw up to the kid's mouth, watching in dismay as the kid sniffs the smell of the smoothie, deeming it not good enough as it shakes it's head profusely, bottom lip jutting out in absolute denial as it turns it's head towards the complete oppposite direction of the nutritional breakfast.

"aw c'mon, don't be like that." jay frowns. "the pretty male over there worked his blood sweat and tears into this drink and you wouldn't even spare a glance at it?" 

upon hearing the aforementioned _pretty male,_ the kid somehow seems to understand what jay says, as it's head snapped up, glancing towards hosuh, whose face seemed to flush a soft pink twice this morning, a bingo in jay's-to-do-list. " _pwetty?"_ the kid mumbles in a quiet voice. 

"mhm. he's pretty, right? say he's pretty." jay says, because he has no shame and shameless is his middle name. 

"pwetty!" the kid echoes excitedly, and jay doesn't think it's possible for hosuh to flush even harder at the compliment. 

"stop encouraging him." hosuh weakly bites out, trying to hide his face in embarrassment and jay thinks it's the cutest thing ever, therefore, he shoots him a _no, i don't think i will,_ smug look towards the other flushed male who glares at him. 

"so you _do_ think the kid is a boy." is what comes out of jay's mouth instead because he's not gonna be mean on a saturday morning and takes mercy on his hot roomate. 

he sees hosuh's mouth slightly part open as if he were about to rebut with something, but falters as his lips fall into a thin pursed line. "focus on feeding the kid." hosuh says instead.

"yessir." jay salutes, turning towards the kid whose bottom lip was jutted out into a small pout. "oh c'mon, kid, drinking this smoothie is not gonna be the end of the world. you wanna grow big and strong like me, yes?" 

the kid's eyes flicker up to jay before it narrows accusingly. "not big and strong." 

jay blinks. "what?"

the kid huffs, jabbing his little finger into jay's chest, roughly digging into the skin and for a brief moment jay wonders if the kid is trying to pry his guts out with how hard the finger is digging into his shirt. "you." the kid simply says.

"he's saying you're not big and strong." hosuh muses out to clear jay's thoughts, ignoring the way jay gave him a _'so you do think the kid is a boy'_ look.

"oh, little man you are _so_ going to regret your choice of words." jay chides, quickly setting down the glass of warm smoothie before gently wrapping his hands around the armpits of the small child, lifting him up from the table and swinging him around in the air, hosuh's small distressed noise that was simply a mere blur in the background as the kid suddenly erupts into giggles that sounded like loud bell chimes, legs kicking back and forth.

"whose big and strong now?" jay says, finally settling the kid down onto the table. 

"you! you!" the kid happily claps, grabby hands and eyes filled with determination reaching out for the smoothie that was left cold and ignored on the table for quite some time now, small pink lips shaped into a pout that suckled on the straw eagerly, as the contents of the smoothie began emptying.

jay finally turns to hosuh, whose gaze has surprisingly softened into a fond look and jay feels entranced, as if he were casted onto a spell that made his insides melt and made flowers bloom into his chest into a faint yet aching warmth. 

"nice job." hosuh says, almost softly.

"i tried my best." is what jay says, tone gentle as well.

to be honest, jay wouldn't mind spending his saturday morning gazing into the warm deep blue depths of his roomate's eyes, before quickly saying 'no homo', but of course, the universe had other plans, as their brief soft moment was interrupted by a small "uh-oh" from the kid who stared up at jay when his eyes flickered over towards the kitchen table, from the glass smoothie that was sitting unharmed and thankfully empty, to the kid's eyes that practically bulged out of his head, he was about to ask what was wrong until—

"pee-pee!" the kid blurts out and a wave of relief crashes down on him, knowing nothing was wrong, yet at the same time he could hear the faint smash of a window of his resolve finally cracking through. _oh my god, this is what hos meant._ he thinks. _i'm gonna have to take care of his mess as a punishment._

"well, good luck." hosuh says, and jay shoots him a disbelieving helpless look in which the other ignores, turning his back onto him, like the traitor he is, facing towards the kitchen and jay cannot believe how nobody believes him that his hot roomate is literally one of the biggest bullies of his life but yet hosuh acts like a literal _angel_ it's annoying and jay wants nothing more than to trip hosuh with his feet because although he could do worse things as revenge, he also wants to cradle the other's face in his arms and give him small pecks on the stupidly soft skin on hosuh's forehead and tell him how the world revolves around the other's eye-blinding smile.

but that's besides the point.

"alright, well, to the potty-mobile we go." jay says, sucking it up because he _managed_ to get the kid to eat his breakfast, what's a quick trip to the bathroom gonna do? he's playing the cool parent now, while hosuh is probably playing the strict bad cop, therefore jay's gotta make this fun for the kid, for both him and hosuh, even though he has practically zero experience with dealing with kids, but so far the kid hasn't pulled his hair out nor made his ears bleed by crying it's lungs out, so, jay would think he's doing a pretty good job so far.

"help me?" the kid asks in such a small tiny vulnerable voice that jay feels like he'd be an asshole if he didn't comply, so, he swallows the urge to scream and flee from the bathroom and nods, gently shutting the door behind him with his foot and lifting up the toilet seat, trying to remain calm although the kid is clearly struggling to pull the zipper of his—her? pants down and jay groans because _of course_ fate had to make this minor inconveniece happen right _now._

"alright, buddy." jay says, the absolute fight in him giving up because honestly he just wanted to bolt out the door and never return again, although the natural instinct in him knows that he can't ditch this kid alone in the middle of the bathroom, trousers halfway down it's chubby legs to ask for hosuh's help, he can't. but oh, how he wants to.

a few minutes of jay's soul leaving his body, the familiar flush of a toilet drowns out the thoughts in jay's head as he kneels down on one knee, crouching low and helping the kid pull up his (it's a he!!!) trousers up and pulling the zipper up. 

"that was uncouth." jay says after a moment of silence, ruffling the kid's hair.

the kid simply blinks up at him.

jay sighs. "thank you for understanding." 

________________________

hosuh checks the time, glancing towards the long handle of the clock ticking by the seconds. 

almost 11.

he was just about to pat himself on the back for the great idea of him re-heating the leftovers of his hot chocolate in the microwave and downing it's remaining contents while jay was busy doing.. whatever he was doing, as long as he was helping the kid wee in the bathroom. that would probably give him enough time to recollect his emotions and thoughts that were scattered across the place, right?

oh how he wants to grab fate by it's collar and drag it to his own doorstep as when the second he punches in the numbers of the microwave with his favorite dull green mug in it, it's the same exact second the door to the bathroom decides to suddenly slam open and make hosuh nearly jump out of his skin from the sound.

"it's a boy!" jay yells, with quite much enthusiasm, walking hand in hand with the kid who was beaming for absolutely no reason, but judging from the tone of jay's voice as if he were a nurse in a surgery room holding a newborn infant in his arms and announcing congratulations to the parents, in a way, it also makes hosuh soften, almost as if preening as if he were a cat lazing about in the lazy afternoon of a sunday with warm yellow lights filtering through an open window. 

he shakes his head. he shouldn't be feeling this way.

but a quick moment wouldn't hurt, right?

"well, good work? now we know the kid's gender." is what comes out of hosuh's mouth because for some reason he can't be nice today. but then, feeling bad for the lack of enthusiasm in the tone of his voice, he clears his throat a little, before adding, "also, there's a bunch of deliveries being made for some reason? did you order anything?" 

jay blinks, eyes flickering over towards the door where there were, oh yeah, he winces, perhaps he should've toned it down a notch on the numbers of items listed on his cart before he ordered delivery to his doorstep. on the same day. 

"it's for the kid." jay quickly says, because he isn't going to listen to another one hour long session of hosuh sitting him down and giving him an important lecture on spending money with such disappointment lacing in his tone and it makes jay want to curl into a small ball and hide underneath the couch and disappear forever. 

"but you're in debt." hosuh says, and oh how jay hates that the simple information practically jabbed him in the heart.

"yes, i know, thank you." 

"we could've used my money." hosuh argues, and jay doesn't have to look up to know that the other's eyebrows are probably drawned, pinched together in slight worry and stubborness and jay goddamn likes him so _much,_ he's so _nice,_ and what for? 

"i've brought this problem among us, it's only fair that i take responsibility for it." jay quietly mumbles, too quiet for the kid to hear but somehow loud enough for hosuh to hear.

"he's not a problem." hosuh fiercly says, and it makes jay look up at him.

those dark blue orbs with depths of the ocean were filled with such.. raw emotion, such intensity and it makes jay blink, surprised, at those eyes that made him fall head over heels at first sight, those eyes that made fire pool in his gut and licked his insides, butterflies errupting to life. jay is one to expect most things. he's a act-first-think-later sorta guy, and most can probably understand once seeing his messy bed hair that wasn't even from waking up at the first place, nor was he lazy enough to not do anything about it. he's the type of guy who is shackled by the infamous criminal, procrastination, and it's obvious from seeing the stacked crashed cans of energy drinks and crumpled paper cups of coffee dried out overnight. he knows the action of his dumb consequences, and what said consequences might bring later on and cause him even more trouble and mischief.

and yet, hosuh manages to surprised him every single time, swooping him off of his feet like a maiden falling head over heels over first love. 

so, a soft "oh," is what comes out of jay's mouth. 

"it's never a problem," hosuh continues, because apparently that wasn't enough to practically dig jay's grave for him. "i really don't mind." hosuh softly says, ocean eyes staring at jay's own orbs, the fiery of raw emotion finally dying down, only to be replaced with such a soft and fond look that jay thinks could probably make the flowers of first winter bloom back to life as if it were spring again. 

"i wake you up at un-godly hours past midnight when you have exams tomorrow." jay says.

"and you apologize for the noise, only because you were up studying for your own exams." hosuh quickly shoots down jay's offense.

"i almost set the kitchen on fire trying to cook eggs that still had eggshells in them." jay recalls, the sudden nostalgic smell of smoke filling his nose from the memory.

"for the intention you had in your heart when you found out i wasn't eating enough, knowing you can't cook but you still did, for me." hosuh says fondly, eyes gazing at him and jay isn't sure if he's still breathing or not.

"i—" jay stammers, trying to find his words, forcing the words that were clogged in his throat to spill out. he can feel his voice betraying him as the words leaving his mouth come out as a weak, hoarse whisper, almost inaudibile at this point that makes jay question whether or not if this was his voice. "—i got drunk and somehow that ended me with a kid at our doorstep without any official guarden accompanying him, and—and" jay swallows, looking up at hosuh, in which he does not remember looking down in the first place. probbaly hiding away from the intense fond gaze hosuh was giving him.

and yet, the soft sweet angel whom he so desperately wants to hold in his arms, just looks back at him, expression unwavering, and lips pursed into a thin line, waiting for jay to continue, as morning light drifts through the window and illuminating him with such an angelic hue, painting a halo over his head and jay doesn't think he's ever met or seen someone this perfect before. 

"—and we didn't know the kid's age, gender, name, or emergency contact number. i, i don't even clearly remember what happened last night." jay finishes.

a quiet eerie silence breaks between them. it's not a suffocating type of silence in any way, but it isn't a comforting one either.

"we already know the kid's gender." hosuh gently reminds him.

"and what about any of it else?" jay says, ignoring the way he's behaving so irrationally and so childish he might as well join the kid in age at this point. "we're— _you're_ supposed to be enjoying your saturday morning as usual, not—" jay gestures, arms wide out open, eyes landing anywhere that wasn't on the child because it really wasn't the child's fault he was in this mess. this was all jay's fault to begin with. "—not doing this." 

"i already told you, i don't mind." hosuh says and it makes jay want to tear his hair out because how on _god_ is someone allowed to be _this_ nice, and not be arressted for sending his heart into stage one of cardiac arrest.

"do you?" hosuh hesitantly asks.

"of course not." jay quickly says, shooting down hosuh's question without hesitance.

"of course not." hosuh repeats, eyes glazing with such intense fondness jay doesn't know if that look is worth seeing being pinned on him.

perhaps it was for the kid. yeah.

"you've already said so before, that we would have only less than 24 hours to take care of this child. you said we could do it. how hard can it be?" and jay wants to smack himself in the head. since when did he say that? he doesn't remember, having the memory span of a goldfish. he can't even remember what he ate last afternoon for christ sake.

"you shouldn't take what nonsense i blurt out so seriously." jay says.

"it isn't nonsense." hosuh softly says. "the other day, you were talking about the aspects of society and how capitalism is a shackle to our feet and we are bound to it, and then you talked about how cute and fluffy baby harp seals were and how they deserved the world but the world didn't deserve them," and _oh my god hosuh stop,_ jay thinks, exasperated. "and you threatened to get involved in a fist fight with anybody who dared to go outside wearing a coat that was made with at least one percent of the seal's soft fur." 

"you remembered?" jay asks weakly, like the pathetic little thing he is.

"of course. the topics you talk about can quite jump from topic to topic, but it's interesting to listen to, nonetheless." and jay can't possibly _think straight,_ at this moment, because, when does he ever when it comes to his perfect roomate? 

"you tend to do things irrationally." hosuh continues, probably noticing the lack of conversation as jay was practically like a fish out of the water, eyes wide and mouth gaping open and _gross,_ jay is probably drooling over his roomate without knowing and his roomate is too nice of a person to tell him. 

"but i know your intentions come from the heart." hosuh says, voice bleeding out with no malicious intent, no jabbing accusations. just. almost as if pure affection with the way hosuh looks at him, and it makes jay wonder if that same look is what is reflected in his eyes whenever he gets the chance to oogle at his roomate.

"i dug through the packages you ordered earlier, sorry." hosuh sheepishly confesses, and jay doesn't even have the _heart_ to be mad at him. "and, i saw children's books, toys that i think had the intention of boosting the kid's brain development, and covers for electrical sockets, soft covers for tables and stove knobs, and that's when i realized." hosuh uses this oppurtunity to shatter jay's heart even more, as he gives him the traitorous puppy-dog-eyes and jay is a simple man. he practically falls onto his knees because what is _he_ going to do against the merciless weapon projected at him? 

he uses all his strength, and manages to cling onto the last bits of his control to stay upright.

"you've never met the kid before, you have practically no more than a few week's worth of spending material, and yet, you've purchased all this, for the child whom you've barely get to know, all this because you feared for the child's safety and cared for his well-being." and oh, hosuh doesn't stop there. "you accompanied the kid to the bathroom and you could've asked for my help, but you didn't. you managed to get the kid to eat his breakfast despite struggling a bit, but you did it anyways."

"it was the right thing to do." jay weakly whispers out, voice practically punched out of his lungs. just a second ago, hosuh was shooting him daggers through his eyes that could practically kill him with looks alone, and now, here he was, gazing at him with such fondness in his eyes and with no absolute business in gently peeling out the rough layers of walls jay had built around him, exposing his soft and desperate to be validated core inside him he so desperately wanted to shield from the world around him. 

"and," hosuh softly says, "the kid has not stopped smiling at you whenever he so merely gets the chance to stare at you." 

as if on cue, jay's eyes, who have impressively done a good job at keeping his field of vision away from the child, flicker over to said kid, who has somehow let go of his hand without him noticing, and had sat down—well, more like sprawled across the floor like a starfish, chin on his small hand with another holding a yellow crayon, scribbling something on a blank piece of paper.

_oh,_ jay blinks. _when did that happen?_

and as if the kid has realised that the topic of attention has been shifted onto him, he blinks up, round doe eyes gleaming with sunshine light as the corners of his small pouty pink lips lifted into a smile that shined brighter than the star that was the sun itself. 

"see?" hosuh whispers, and that nearly makes jay fling out of the nearest window as he realises how close hosuh is now, eyes darting towards the other who hovered near him. 

"i—" jay swallows. "i didn't know before." he admits. 

"now you do." 

"..thank you." jay says, gratefully having been slapped out of that horrid mindsight he used to spiral into sometimes. it usually sucked, with negative thoughts blocking practically anything out of his ears, and it seemed like everything and everyone was out of reach. asking for help didn't seem to work, and he'd expected he'd stay like this, convinced that he could live like this, having short episodes where he felt like suddenly the world was against his side, and help would never come.

but as he stares at those warm blue eyes that reminded him of the tropical blue skies he gazed up into the sky once, he finds solace. protection, peace, and finally, home. 

for once, he didn't ask for help.

help came to him.

"there's no need for that." hosuh waves off, embarrassed, and the sudden awkward tension dissipates between them as jay fondly spots the pinkish familiar hue that crawled across the other's cheeks and down the nape of his neck. "c'mon." hosuh butts in, encircling his tiny hand around jay's large wrist and the size difference of their hands is a simple thing that shouldn't make jay's heart do somersaults on the inside, but it did anyway. the smaller male gently tugs him forward towards the living room and settles both of them down on their knees, near the kid who practically gleamed up at them, happy with the attention and comfort brought within company.

"what'cha drawing there, little one?" hosuh gently asks and jay pretends his heart hadn't practically bursted out of his chest upon hearing hosuh's little petname for the kid.

"mm, no look!" the kid says, warily eyeing the two as he shields the drawing away from their sight with his tiny chubby arms.

"keeping secrets from each other isn't so nice, don't you think?" jay scoffs.

the kid merely huffs, lips jutting into the infamous pout of stubborness, eyes darting between the two of them and back to the paper before shyly shuffling the paper forward, like as if the kid had committed a war crime or something. (and jay probably would have clapped the kid on the back and said 'well done' but anyways.)

both jay and hosuh meekly peer over at the drawing and beside him, he can faintly hear hosuh's small gasp, and jay's heart bursts so much affection and fondness for this kid, _oh my god,_ he isn't even his son in the first place so how can this explain the intense instinct kicking him to swoop the kid in his arms and never let go. 

"mister looks more nicer when smiling," the kid mumbles, almost as if shy and jay almost cooes and reaches out to pinch the child's tofu-like cheeks. "like sunflower." the kid finishes, eyes glancing up to jay's, eyebrows pinched together in concern, as if scared of what his reaction would be.

"i love it." jay breathes out, and he stubbornly pushes down the tears brimming in his eyes, because he is a _man._ and he is not going to cry in front of this kid and his crush of a roomate. "thank you." he adds, sincerity bleeding through his tone, just to make sure his message gets across, and surely it does, as the kid practically bounces with delight. 

"we should hang it." hosuh suggests.

"yeah." jay says, fingers still holding tightly at the paper, but gently at the same time, as if he were to treasure this precious gift the kid had drawn for him, and yet he also wanted to remember the way each drag of his fingertips against the paper felt under his skin, to honor the memory. 

"whenever you're ready." hosuh whispers beside him, apparently noticing his internal struggle.

jay just simply nods, too entranced by the drawing. the lines were messily scribbled, yet jay could see the concentration put behind the colors of the crayons, the way they were carefully chosen and the way the kid must have looked up a couple of times at jay to reference the drawing, because he can clearly make out the struggle the kid drew of his hair, spiky and messy, portraying the real mess of a bird's nest his hair was, colored bright yellow and gleaming like the sun, there were small four petals drawn around his head in the drawing, colored in bright yellow as well, and messy handwriting of the kid that spelled out "sunflower !!!!", with multiple arrows drawn to point the drawing of jay whose head popped out of the yellow petals of the flower that shined only for the sun.

it was oddly thoughtful and sweet for a young kid at his age, and jay feels his heart preen for some reason.

"thank you." jay says again, because he isn't good with words and he doesn't want to embarrass himself by letting his big mouth do the work and make him accidentally blurt out something like 'kid, you are adorable, may i run off with you into the sunset and call you my son', and so he shakily stands up to hang the drawing on the fridge, at a place where he'll be able to see clearly and often, since he's a famished person who craves food every 2 hours of the day, the firdge was a perfect spot. so whenever he is gorging himself on the last packet of ramen in the middle of the night, he can take a brief moment when nobody is looking, to fondly stare at the drawing, fingertips just slightly brushing across, perhaps with a small smile in the middle of the memory, making him look like some sort of creep in the dark, looking at the fridge at night like that.

________________________

"what _is_ it with this kid, as if telling his normal personal information to us is a big deal, we're his part-time babysitters for christ sake, does he still not trust him after all i've went through even in the bathroom with him?" jay mutters to himself, the energy in him drained already as he passive-aggressively hammers a nail into the soft cushion cover on the edges of the kitchen table that were for some reason sharper than a great white shark's tooth, and jay took one look at that and went 'oh yeah. no. that thing's gotta go.' and so he procceeded to drill nails into it, for the safety for the kid and for his own sanity since he too has been struck a victim and the visible purple bruises on his stomach that had begun to fade were proof of evidence as clear as day.

no longer shall he fall victimed to this monstrosity and curse bloody murder when the knife of a table's sharp corners stab him in his side.

"give him time." hosuh says softly. "maybe he's still wary of us? after all he'd been dropped on our doorstep with no explanation, i wouldn't blame him if he refuses to give information about his name or age. it's probably something that red haired girl—blank, was it? said a lot to him earlier, don't give personal information out to strangers even if they bribe you with candy." 

"so we're just gonna keep calling him 'little one', 'little man' and 'little gremlin' for the time being? c'mon, aren't you curious?" jay asks, adjusting the covers a bit, and patting them to see if it actually worked. "well, he seems like a white kid, in my opinion." jay adds, eyes flickering over to the child who was still sprawled out across the floor, crayons and markers of all different sorts of colors thrown into random different direction, some probably even under the couch where jay knows it'll disappear forever into some unknown fourth dimension, sucked into a black hole under the couch in some sort of way. 

"y'know, blue eyes, blonde hair, fair skin. i wouldn't be surprised if his name turns out to be a classic rip-off rich irish boy name or something. probably likely that his name starts with the letter r, or a t or a b for conveniences, like fucking—richard, tyler, bastard billy—" and before jay can go on, hosuh interrupts him.

"language." the other sternly reminds, before his eyes soften. "be nice." he adds, sweetly defensive. 

they had just finished unpacking most of the contents in the delivery packages, starting off with the safety requirements first, jay volunteering to risk his right hand as he hammers and drills and nails at different stuff because he insists that he'd be the perfect fit for the job, since he has an engineering degree and he doesn't want hosuh to get hurt. 

he doesn't say the latter part out loud. 

it's a little over 1pm, and it's only a little less to 6 hours before this whole job is done. and a little over 1pm means jay's stomach is _ravenous,_ because when is it never, so hosuh insists that he takes cover for the cooking shift, and, ok fair, jay thinks. hosuh is probably—no, definitely way better in the kitchen than him, so he watches reluctantly as the warmth of hosuh's prescence slowly fade away, as the other tracks into the kitchen, making a meal for their little family.

_their little family._

jay blinks, hammer in his hand in the air, halfway from hitting the nail's head. _family,_ he thinks, as he glances down at most of the dangerous things that had been child-proofed, hammer still in his hand and fingers slightly sore from splinters from which he didn't even know where they came from, to hosuh who was in the kitchen, the faint sizzling of probably vegetables stirring up a vengeance, because hosuh insists that jay needs to eat something healthier than inhaling ramen packets and energy drinks 24/7, in which, in jay's defensive, costed less than half of his weekly budget, and sustained himself enough to last throughout the week.

struggles of college.

and then, his eyes finally flicker over to the kid, who somehow noticed his gaze, as the child lifted his head up a bit, hand still clutching a green crayon as he uses the other small hand to do a tiny wave at jay, before turning his attention to the drawing. 

_huh._ jay thinks. _is this family?_

and before the thoughts that made his stomach buzz with warmth and his heart leap into the air make him lose focus of his task and make him drill a nail into his finger, hosuh's voice pipes out of the kitchen.

"jay, could you help me set the table?" 

"of course." jay calls back, practically ditching his task but not before he gives it a final glance, nodding to himself. it'll do for now, and besides, the kid doesn't usually run around blindly and mess the place up in a span of 2 seconds, like he knows most kids would do in any unfamiliar new territory. 

in a way, it's oddly domestic, jay thinks, humming to himself as he grabs three sets of forks and spoons, although burrowing his hand into the furthest deepest corner of the remaining silverware they had, fishing out for the tiniest pair of cultery, for the kid. 

he doesn't realize he said his thoughts out loud until he hears a pan being set down on the stove a bit too hard, drawing a wince out of him as he glances towards hosuh who turns towards him, eyes slightly a bit wider than usual, making him look like a lost deer caught in the headlights. "what?" hosuh whispers.

"what?" jay asks, a bit too dumbly.

"you—ah, nevermind." hosuh quickly says, shaking his head.

"food!!!" the kid excitedly yells, barging into the kitchen, choosing every perfect moment between jay and hosuh to interrupt, jay thinks, groaning inwardly. 

jay spares a questioning glance towards hosuh, who seemingly avoids his eye, though jay's eyes don't miss the familiar pink blush crawling up the other's nape. huh. inch resting. although he'd love to prode and poke the other around for more answers, their main concern was to feed off a starving kid who somehow had the stomach of a bottomless empty pit that growled like a dinasour when in need of food. 

it's like the kid has taken a part of jay's own genes, despite how they're not biologically related in any way, in just a few hours under their roof, jay has practically bit his tongue multiple times to repress the urge of calling the kid 'my son', with love in his eyes as he practically relates to the kid on a spiritual level that should not be allowed. 

"eat up, little man." jay simply says, handing the kid the tiniest spoon and fork he can find and it's not like the kid acts like it's a bother to him or a challenge or anything, as the kid practically shovels the food into his mouth like he hadn't eaten for _days,_ mouth stuffed full with hashed potatoes and a mix of green peas and a few slices of perserved leftover chicken from the night before. 

"mmm!!!" the kid says, muffled and jay takes it as a good sign that he enjoys the food.

jay digs into his meal, as well as hosuh, whose chewing his food, prim and polite as usual, and jay, whose also busy shoveling food into his mouth could not care for anything other than, well, food at this point. usually when he'd sit down with hosuh and eat meals, he'd often crack jokes, tell the other about how is day went, hold up a casual conversation to ease up the stress and tension in his shoulders.

but right now, he was ravenous. could eat a whole chicken at this point, feathers and all. 

for some reason an unusual eerie silence falls on the table, and jay takes the moment with chicken meat in his mouth to glance over at the child who was uncharateristically quiet for some odd reason, face falling a bit and lips jutting out into a small pout, fork in his hand as he pushed and played around with the remains of his food still on his plate.

jay swallows his food, reaching out for a napkin seated on his lap, cleaning the residue of any sauce off of his lips before he asks in a soft gentle tone, "hey, is everything alright?"

the kid blinks up at him, a bit startled with how his little lips slide past open a few centimeters, probably from surprise. but then, jay's concern grows even more as he notices the kid begins fidgeting, gaze looking uncertain, darting between places back and forth and it makes jay frown. usually the kid would say whatever came to his mind, and although jay hadn't spent more than a few hours with the kid, he could know from anywhere from the kid's body language that something was making him very uncomfortable. kid's don't lie, not that they could anyway, they're soft-hearted angels, (well some of them, anyway) and bodies, never lie either.

was it the food? jay thinks. but just a second ago he saw that the kid was practically inhaling hosuh's cooking. and hosuh's cooking was always good.

"is misters gonna leave me?" the kid quietly asks.

jay stammers, heart shattering into a thousand pieces. "of course not!" he immediately rebuts. "why ever would you think that?" he adds, in a slightly more softer tone. 

the kid simply blinks up at him, as if he wasn't expecting jay's answer. it was as if he was about to say something further, that is, until hosuh gently interrupts. "no talking while eating." and jay shoots hosuh a questioning look. it's not like speech is forbidden when dining or anything, it isn't a rule, so he doesn't understand why suddenly hosuh is adamant about not speaking what's troubling the kid's heart and mind. jay wants to know, so he can help make the kid feel better. 

"eat first," hosuh says. "then talk." 

and so without saying anything, the table goes silent once again, the only sound of metal cultery clinking amongst plates and when most of the food is gone on everyone's plates, and the kid has had enough to eat, he pushes the plate in front of him a few inches forward across the table, a clear sign that he was done eating, though he still hasn't opened his mouth to adress what was wrong, so, jay simply waits for him.

hosuh makes the first move to stand up, getting around the table to get everyone's plates and clearing the remaining food and rinsing the plates in the sink, putting them off later to clean in the evening, washing his hands and drying them with a towel before he makes his way back to the table and sits down, also joining jay in waiting for the kid. 

patience is one of the main keys required when dealing with a child. whether the kid is troubled, restless, crying it's lungs out, or forced to admit a confession or break the truth, parents simply wait. because silence is one of the things most kids are afraid of. they're full of endless energy, bouncing there and teleporting here from unknown portals, and so to have suffocating silence surround them makes them even more uncomfortable. patience, is important. it's to see whose stronger and who breaks down first.

"don't wanna leave misters." the kid finally says in a small voice, eyes still refusing to meet the two. "wanna stay, please? don't leave." 

"oh, sweetheart," hosuh begins, and damn what would jay have to do to get hosuh to call him that in that same tone. "we're not going anywhere." 

"yeah," jay agrees. "but," he adds. "don't you miss your parents? your aunt, blankie?" he asks, ignoring the way hosuh subtly glances at him as he says a cringey-old nickname for blank.

the kid fidgets some more. "family?" 

"yeah, family, that. the parents who gave birth to you by fusing a sperm and an egg cell together to create a zygote, you know." jay says.

"have many family." the kid says, and jay's one functional braincell simply cannot function right now.

"oh, you mean like you have multiple aunts and uncles and stuff?" he asks, trying to clear the confusion up a bit.

the kid's eyebrows furrow. "no." he says, as if struggling to speak. "move. a lot. new families. not same one." 

"i think.." hosuh begins quietly. "he's saying he's a foster kid." 

_oh._

"oh." jay says. " _oh,_ little guy, i'm so sorry." 

the kid sniffles, big fat tears already rolling down, as he uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe away tears, as if he was _humiliated_ that he was crying in front of them, and jay feels his heart shatter once more. he wonders, if he could possibly repeatedly hit the kid's former adoptive parents with a chair, not enough times for it to kill but enough times for it to hurt. he unconsciously clenches his fist, tight. the kid didn't deserve any sort of mistreatment at _all._ just a sweet little soul who just hadn't found the right family yet.

"oh kid, don't you love your current family?" jay asks instead.

"i—" the kid hiccups. "i don't know." he scrunches up his litle nose, trying to stop the little small wounded animal noises that kept punching out of his throat. "says i'm, tem—po—rary, not per—perm—a—nent family." he manages, eyebrows drawn up as he tries to pronnounce hard vocabulary words.

"they're just taking care of him for a while until he finds an official family to settle down with, i guess." hosuh says, then falling quiet, eyebrows pinched together and _oh,_ jay knows that look too well, when hosuh is in the middle of a deep thought, proccessing things.

"do you think," jay mumbles, too quiet enough for the kid to hear but loud enough for hosuh. "i can beat someone to death with a chair." he thinks, of how many families the kid has had to be attached to, before he had to let them all go.

"if you try hard enough, you can achieve whatever you put your mind to." hosuh says, quietly.

oh he didn't expect that. also. if those shitty adoptive parents ever cross paths with him, he is going to do _so_ much more than get involved with a fist-fight with them. and if he sees them obnoxiously wearing those winter fluffy cloaks made out of baby harp seal fur material, he is going to dig their graves for them. simple. how can one simply take one quick look at the beaming kid whose smile was brighter than sunbeams and eyes that twinkled and sparkled like the north star in the night sky, and _give him up_ like that? no one. absolutely no one. 

the kid is perfect, jay thinks. case closed.

then, "did you know brother jay has cactuses?" 

jay blinks. 

what.

the kid apparently is startled by the sudden question, gnawing his bottom lip raw. "i don't— he does?" 

"hm." hosuh nods in confirmation. "do you wanna see?" 

the kid all but shyly nods.

and then hosuh practically flees into jay's room, leaving jay alone with the sniffling kid.

"uh." he begins, unsure. "i would let you into my room, kid, but that's practically off-limits since i haven't child-proofed the whole vicinity of it and sometimes i fall and almost receive a concussion without noticing stacks of paper and leftover moldy cheese on the floor, so, yeah." dear god, what is he even saying.

"okay." the kid says.

thankfully the awkward tension is saved by hosuh as he returns from jay's room, gently carrying a transparent glass pot in his arms, filled with dirt and tiny visible roots along with—was that leftover pieces of food somehow magically left in there? jay thinks. 

"it doesn't look like a cactus." the kid accuses, having the _audacity_ to go from crying and breaking jay's heart to practically roasting him with a tone so unimpressively flat.

"hm, catuses are hard to grow." hosuh says, defending jay's honor.

"cactuses give ouchies." the kid says, cheeks glistening with visible faint tear tracks, although he had stopped crying, distracted by the tiny wilting plant with sharp spikes in it. "cannot touch, hurt." 

"correct," hosuh beams. "did you know, many plants, like cactuses, have roots that help them stay in place?" 

"mm!" the kid nods enthusiastically, using his little fingers to demonstrate the said roots. "veryyy deep and, big!" he yells, extending his small arms as wide as they can go.

"more deeper and bigger than your love for us?" jay asks smugly.

the kid seems to struggle to choose, pouting and fiddling with his fingers and jay doesn't know if he should be offended that the kid is taking _this_ long to answer or should he coo at how the kid is struggling to choose between the two things.

"just as much." the kid finally says, eyes flickering up towards jay and jay, like the dramatic man he is, clutches his heart in pain.

"ah," he complains, feigning hurt. "i've been striked down by this powerful force." 

the kid giggles.

"well," hosuh continues. "cactuses don't really have big and deep roots, it's quite small and short." 

"but cactus from hot sand place?" the kid inquires, head tilting slightly to the side.

"the desert, yes." hosuh corrects. "most cactuses can grow in the desert, or in other places that aren't really sandy or hot, and some can be grown by people." 

"take away from home." the kid huffs quietly.

"some, yes, they were exported from their natural habitat, but did you know that whenever you take a plant away from it's original home, the roots still stay?" hosuh asks. "even if you take away their original home, and place it somewhere new, their roots are able to adjust to new places and continue growing normally." 

"but cactus don't hurt?" the kid asks, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "cactus have pointy stuff so people don't take away from home." 

"as long as people handle them carefully." hosuh points out gently. "usually they have to put on protective gloves on, and although a cactus may seem like an easy plant to grow, but it isn't." he adds, silently mouthing the obvious words 'as you can see from demonstration, jay's own cacti'.

"sometimes they can be too dry, and when you give them water, it's too much, and then the plant wilts and dies." 

"oh no," the kid says, using his tiny hands to cover his own mouth.

"cacti can be overlooked sometimes of how easy people say it is to care for, when in reality, it isn't. plants are living creatures that need a lot of care, do you remember what a plant needs in order to grow?" hosuh asks.

"sunlight!" the kid practically yells. "and—and water, and oxy—oxygen and lots of love!" 

hosuh nods. "lots of love." he echoes, a small smile on his lips.

"you're your own little plant, or own cactus if you will," he says, eyes fond. "you might not understand or see it yet, but, no matter how homes you're placed in or taken away from, you have your roots, little one. and you'll be able to grow, with the help of people who know how to care for you. giving you lots of sunshine, water, and lots of love." 

"you'll be able to grow and make anywhere your home, and one day, you'll be able to stay." 

________________________

jay thinks his soul is somewhere not on earth right now at this moment, when hearing hosuh's little speech he was,—putting it in the least non gay way possible—dumbstruck. 

"wow," he says, after a while of finding the remains of his soul and collecting his shit together. "that was—" what should he say that doesn't make it sound like he's praising the gods and has the hots for his roomate but not too dumb enough to make him decrease his chance on making his roomate tolerate him a bit more? 

"that was poetic." he says, like a loser. because he is gay and in love and there is simply nothing in the world that can stop it and he can do nothing about it.

"i tried my best." hosuh merely shrugs, like it's no big deal and jay is not about to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, yelling: 'what do you _mean,_ that was only your best? that was magnificent. outstanding. stunning. 10 out of 10. please let me get on my knee and take your hand in marriage.'

the kid is now asleep, actually has been an hour ago, possibly tired from all the sugary-high-energy that has been coursing through his veins from the morning. not to mention that hosuh had told him that the kid had practically cried his lungs out when coming to their doorstep. it was most likely to assume that the kid was just taking his afternoon nap, a normal thing for kids to do, based on jay's recent google searches on ' _how to keep a kid alive for 24 hours????_ ' 

and also maybe because the kid cried like, twice in the span of not more than 10 hours and he had eaten a fatass meal, so, it was understandable that he was knocked out like a light, now curled up on their sofa with a soft pillow cushioned beneath his head, sleeping quietly, long eyelashes fluttered shut and evenly breathing through small puffs through his nose. 

"we should treat your wounds." hosuh adds, after a while. 

"what wounds?" jay asks, because half of the time he doesn't pay attention to himself and somehow can wake up with a bruise blooming on his leg from some late night activity he does not remember doing in the first place. 

hosuh just raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "your fingers have splinters in them. leaving them for too long can be unhealthy." 

oh my _godddd_ screw hosuh with his overly-nice behavior, his sweet features on his face, his caring personality, and literally _everything_ about him that makes jay want to simply transform into a caveman with foam at the mouth whenever he hears the word _hosuh._

"okay." jay swallows.

they end up knee-to-knee on the sofa opposite towards where the kid was sleeping, fingers just slightly brushing against each other as jay's breath unconsciously hitches a tone higher or two. no, he is not going to act like he has some high-school-girl-crush but that's exactly what he's doing. it's not everyday that hosuh is within near his gay-panicking-radiar vicinity very often, so jay cherishes the moment, trying to remember the way hosuh's feathery-soft fingers fondle his quite larger and more rougher palms, using a small tweezer to pick out the little splinters that have wormed into his skin.

they're so close he can feel their breath mingles together and for once, he can actually _feel_ hosuh's prescence. not that he does on a daily basis, but this is different. he can sense the smell of hosuh's faint shampoo, like warm vanilla mixed with the sweetness of wildflowers, and they're so _close,_ jay cannot stress this enough, he thinks he can possibly count the number of eyelashes on hosuh's eyes.

and before he notices, hosuh is already pulling away, due to his dismay. 

"we ran out of normal band-aids." hosuh adds, sheepishly, looking away.

jay looks down, lips slightly parted open as he traces his fingers against the _hello-kitty_ bandaids wrapped around his fingers. _okay,_ he swallows. _how worse can it get?_

"i don't mind," he says.

"they look cute on you anyways." 

_what._

"oh." jay says, because what else is there to say? then, "thank you" because he was raised to be no bitch.

he glances at the clock. 

4:37 pm.

only a few more hours to go, he thinks. yeah, so far it's been—decent. he can't say the same for the kid though. 

"how are you holding up?" he asks to hosuh.

"i think i'm doing okay?" the other answers in return, although his statement came off more as a question. "it's been a wild ride." he adds, and that makes jay laugh. 

"yeah," he says. "it has been." 

then, a few beats of silence pass by before hosuh quietly speaks up. "poor kid." 

"i've never seen him cry before. well i mean, you probably have since you told me he was bawling his eyes out when you answered the door in the morning," jay admits. 

"i have." hosuh says. "but i've never seen him cry like that before." 

"like what?" jay asks.

"like," hosuh gestures his arms around in a weird way that makes jay's eyes glint with amusement. "i don't know," he sighs, slumping his shoulders in defeat. "just, he looked so broken you know, and when he asked us if we were gonna leave in _that_ tone, and how he begged us to stay?" 

"yeah," jay winces, re-calling the unpleasant memory. "why _did_ he even cry like that? he's barely known us for a day, i wouldn't expect him to act like this at all."

"it's because he has something to lose now." hosuh says in a quietly-devastating way.

"i didn't even know he liked us that much." jay mumbles. "well i mean—i'm not sure if he likes me. he probably likes you." 

"i don't know if you noticed but the whole time i've been trying to comfort the kid, all i've used was extensive vocabulary too far advanced for a young kid to understand." hosuh points out.

"okay," jay hesitates. "but you gave him food, _and_ a story. you made him stop crying and you made him fall asleep. i'd say you're doing a pretty great job as a temporary-baby-sitter for the weekend." 

hosuh sighs for the nth time today. "i guess you're right." 

"tired?" jay asks.

"a bit." hosuh agrees. "im mostly just thinking, though." 

jay raises an eyebrow. "about?"

he watches carefully as hosuh bites his plush lip, and jay can see where the kid picked up gnawing-his-bottom-lip-raw habit from. 

"do you think of raising your own family some times?" hosuh out of the blue asks and jay almost chokes on his soul.

"sorry," the other apologizes quickly. "that was a random question, i get you're a bit surprised. no need to answer if it makes you uncomfortable." 

"not really." jay says instead. "i don't—i haven't really put much thought into family much, well, me raising one technically, that is. i'm just trying to get by you know? college is already hard enough as it is with all these bills i need to pay back." 

"hm." hosuh lets out a small amused huff. "screw capitalism?"

"screw capitalism." jay repeats, faintly.

"have you?" jay adds, after having an afterthought.

"hm?"

"have you ever thought about raising your own family." jay clears up the question a bit, trying to remain cool as possible and trying to not seem like he was going to practically jot down every word coming out of hosuh's mouth as he answers this question, for—scientific purposes in the later future. yeah, that.

the sigh hosuh lets out this time is not tired, not exasperated. it's more of nostalgic, with the way silver hair is thrown back onto the couch, blue eyes gazing up at the worn down ceiling of their shared apartment. "i used to think a lot that raising a kid would be fun." he admits in a soft voice.

"used to?" jay asks. "did something change?" he adds, more teasingly and hosuh huffs.

"no not really, i still think it would be fun. i knew it was going to be a bit tiring though, but i never really had the experience with caring for an actual child." hosuh pauses for a brief moment before continuing, "i've read once on a blog that parents found taking care of children were difficult at first, it still is along the way, but they said that their children's smile and the way they laugh is a reward from tiredness." 

"did you really read a whole blog on parenthood because you were curious on how it was like to raise a family of your own?" 

"we are no longer talking about this." hosuh hisses, throwing a nearby pillow towards jay's direction.

"okay, truce, truce." jay laughs. he's about to tease hosuh just a _little_ bit more, because the other bristles like a cat when being taunted and it's the most satisfying thing ever to jay, to put this in the most non—psychopatically—way possible. 

but then, something stirs from the opposite direction of him on the couch, then followed by a small yawn, before strands of messy blonde hair, oddly similar to jay's usual hair, poked out from slumber as the kid sits up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. 

"oh," hosuh notices. "awake already? how did you sleep?" 

another yawn. "'sgood," the kid slurs, voice thick and heavy from sleep. "what time?" he asks.

"5:02 pm, buddy. looks like you're gonna be spending a few more hours with us, so don't you think that you're gonna leave so early away from us." jay says.

the kid wrinkles his nose in distaste. "i don' want to leave." 

jay blinks. "you like it here?" he asks, very obviously hiting at the way there are multiple crayons strewn across the living room, and jay's room that is still not child-proofed and practically banned at all costs from all entry except for jay and maybe hosuh, since it is a haphazard and jay can own up to that. and the half-dying cactus that was somewhere still on the kitchen table, gathering up as much sunshine as possible before jay chucks it into his room in the darkest deepest corner where no sunshine avail can be ever seen again.

and despite that all, the kid nods. 

"like brother jay and h—hose." the kid stammers.

"the kid just called you a gardening hose." jay says, trying to keep a straight face despite him practically _howling_ from laughter on the inside. the kid probably picked up his nickname for hosuh multiple times when jay needed his help or just wanted attention at some point.

though, hosuh pays no mind to correct the kid, only to perhaps smile a bit, eyes crinkling into little crescents. "we like you too." he says, for both himself and jay who nods in agreement.

the kid practically _beams,_ the most liveliest he had ever been, as if jay had painted the night sky and hosuh had strung stars over them. when one of them smile, it is magnifying, reflective, almost. when one smiles, all the others smile. it's hypnotizing and wonderful and jay thinks, _oh,_ _he doesn't want the kid to leave any time soon._

they're quick to realise that the kid is the centre of the universe, and gravity is pulling jay and hosuh towards him. not that they mind, in any way. they let themselves be led to the kid's magnetic smile that could possibly make jay's wilting cactus bloom back to life. the kid is the bright blazing sun of the universe, and hosuh and jay are simply planets orbiting around the star. the kid is a small plant whose roots are still growing, and jay and hosuh are the sunshine and water the plant needs in order to help grow. and certainly, with a little tender love, there is no doubt that the kid will soon be able to find his home, and grow.

________________________

surprisingly, the hours go by pretty fast for a saturday that jay and hosuh thinks wouuld drag on for ages. but it passes by quicker than a blink of an eye. both of them try to spend as much time as possible with the kid, savouring the sweet memory as they were sprawled out across the floor, well, except for hosuh who sat still sat on the couch because in his defense, the floor had lots of germs, even though jay didn't point out that hosuh practically sweeped the entire floor clean yesterday. 

leave it to hosuh who's a clean freak (an adorable one, of course) and jay, the dirty hag, who eats off ramen that had accidentally fell on the floor because he's a disaster. whatever, it was less than 5 seconds anyways, and the hydrochloric acid is sure to terminate all bacteria in his digestive track. probably. he isn't sure, he isn't majoying in biology like hosuh and besides, he has a strong immune system anyways, he only gets sick for like, 3 times a year. and fuck it if he dies before 30 or if he somehow accidentally consumes toxic waste and transforms into a mutant with super powers and takes over the world and destroys capitalism.

it's still a working progress.

"i think i'm on the verge of extinction." jay says, resting his head on his palms, elbows stretched across the floor as he gazes up at the ceiling. he's lost to the kid and hosuh to _jenga_ for like, 23 times by now and it's not that he's not good at games like these or anything, he'd totally be the champion of jenga due to his physics course and engineering degree. the thing is, he _should_ be able to calculate and determine the safest block to pull out and not cause an avalanche and lose to a simple game. but he does anyway. and no, he's not sulking and salty about it. it's just that, hosuh keeps giving amused glances towards jay and jay can _see_ it in the corner of his eye, he's not hallucinating, but everytime he turns to look at the other, hosuh is already turning away, focused on the game.

"don't be dramatic." hosuh gently chides, pulling out a small wooden block and placing it on top of the stack with ease, because he's graceful like that, motherfucker. 

so far, the kid is winning the game. and it's mostly because jay can't keep his eyes off hosuh and his leg _goddamn_ still because he can't manage to concentrate when hosuh is within vicinity of his gay-panicking-radiar. and hosuh is a kid soul, so he lets the kid take the win. of course, that's so likely of him and jay can't possibly fall even more for him. 

"you wouldn't say that if you were in my position." jay scoffs. "plus," he adds, in a quieter voice. "it's almost near 7pm." 

"oh," hosuh says, as if he forgot time existed for a brief moment.

"i just hope he doesn't start bawling again like last time when he learns that he has to leave soon." jay mumbles, and just like that at the exact same moment, the jenga tower falls down and multiple wood blocks fall, scattered onto the floor in a heaping mess, with the kid in the background fist-pumping the air in victory as he declares that he's the champion of jenga.

"yeah, yeah, you won." jay says, because he's a sore loser. "congratulations, for like, the 25th time." 

the kid simply sticks his tongue at him, like the little brat that he is, and it's the exact moment they've all been dreading for as a series of soft knocks echoes through the hollow wood of the door. jay glances at the clock and of course, 7pm sharp, like blank had promised, and a sick little part of himself wishes that she could've came an hour late, or even a minute late, whatever, the later, the more time he gets to spend with the kid.

he's grown attached, he realises.

hosuh is the one to get up first, gently gathering the multiple wood blocks strewn across the floor into a neat little pile, shoving them in some unknown corner of the room to deal with later, like with all problems, and gently takes the kid hand in hand, leading them towards the door, and jay watches, helpless.

the door opens and a soft, "blankie!!!" comes out of the child's mouth, eagerly rushing towards the fiery-embered hair girl whose eyes gleamed like molten-honey gold, although the kid has not stopped holding hosuh's hand. 

"did you have fun today?" blank asks, ruffling the kid's hair in an affectionate way.

"he's with us, of course he had fun." jay chimes in, joining them at the door and immediately, blank's gaze hardens.

"hm," is all blank says, though her tone is skeptical. "i suppose you managed?" before turning towards hosuh, eyes softening. "thank you for taking care of him, i'm sure you did well, i'm sorry for the trouble it might have caused you." and jay snorts at the difference between her greetings towards them.

"it was no trouble at all." hosuh gently says, because he's a kind soul, bless him. 

"will i see you again?" the kid mumbles, turning towards them, round doe eyes flickering from hosuh to jay, back and forth like that.

"of course." both jay and hosuh instantaneously says, and jay thinks he could see a small smile tugging at the corner of hosuh's lips, despite the other facing the opposite direction of him. 

"yay!!!" the kid cheers, obviously happy and jay's heart is like a flower in bloom.

"we," blank says, gaze pinning on jay. "are totally going to talk about this," before adding, "later. perferably without drinks." and jay sees hosuh slightly nod his head in approval.

"okay," jay sulks. "no drinks." he promises.

they wave their goodbyes like that, with the kid clinging onto jay's leg with a small pitiful whine, only reluctantly letting go once they had to coax him repeatedly that he'd see them again, and finally, jay gave him and gently handed the kid his dying cactus, as well, a parting gift.

"i'll trust you to keep it healthy and alive, so it can grow, okay? every time you come back and visit us, we'll check to see how well you're doing." jay says, and just like that, the kid beams happily again, small hands reaching up to gently accept the gift, fingers curling around the glass pot, clearly mesmerised with the half-wilting plant now in his care. 

the door closes, and then the sudden empty feeling of the apartment is a wave of realisation crashing over him, as he glances at the multiple books stacked on the sofa, from where he once fondly gazed from the corner to see hosuh reading animal stories for the kid that was settled quietly onto his lap. he barely makes it to the sofa before he collapses on the ground with a small _'oof',_ followed by hosuh who not so graciously this time, manages a few steps forward, and then all but slowly sinks into the matress of the sofa, dipping into it.

and so they stay like that, with the sun slowly setting above the horizon of cotton-candy clouds painted into a pink-orangey tequila that jay once drank at a bar, despite it already being 7pm at night, because climate change is a bitch like that, and it's in the middle of the scorching summer so the sun sets at a way slower pace than a turtle trying to win a race against a rabbit.

"so," jay begins, tiredly. "that was today." 

hosuh only makes a soft sound, in regards to jay's statement, and it makes him turn around to face the other, whose face is only calm, eyes swimming in warmth and jay seems to be drowning in his ocean blue eyes. "could you give me your hand for a quick second?" and jay doesn't need to be told twice as he practically flings himself over to hosuh's side, hand already out, hovering in reach of the other.

and jay tries not to shiver as he feels delicate soft fingers meet his, and he watches, entranced as hosuh hums, obvlivious to what he managed to do to jay's heart, as he gently intertwines their fingers together, ( _what the fuck???_ goes jay's mind) and using his other free hand to softly caress the hello-kitty bandaids sitting on jay's wounded fingers. 

"does it hurt?" he asks, voice lowered into a whisper, despite them being the only two there in this alone shared apartment, with the sun setting down and the kid now gone, like time does not exist and the sounds of cars parking into their homes simply cease to hear, and they're the only two alone in this world, in each other's embrace, hands intertwined.

"yes," jay says, like a moron, because his brain isn't thinking straight once again. the wounds don't really hurt, honestly. he doesn't know why he even said that in the first place. the last thing he wants to do is become another one of hosuh's problems to worry about, and the other most likely already has a lot to deal with.

but he may or may not regret what he said, as hosuh brings his hand closer to him, almost tugging jay to clamber up and fall onto his lap. his eyes widened as he faintly feels the other's breath painting his skin, soft lips gently brushing over, like a silhouette, and just like that, he feels feathery kisses peppered onto his skin, the warmth from hosuh lips transferring to jay's fingertips and jay prays to god that hosuh doesn't realise how goddamn sweaty and slimy his hands are sweating bullets out right now, like a disastrous sewer. 

he doesn't do anything to stop the other's ministrations, though. it's almost as if, he doesn't want the other to ever stop. he wants to stay like this, for as long as hosuh will have him and for as long as time will give them. 

"saliva can help heal wounds a little." hosuh speaks in between soft kisses.

"saliva can also cause infection risks due to bacteria in the mouth." jay weakly says, making the other snort.

"should i stop?" hosuh asks, and jay doesn't need him to look up in order to know that hosuh is probably giving him one of those sly smirks when he knows he's reduced jay to nothing but a heaping mess of emotions, like he isn't about to burst from hives at the very second.

"please don't." jay immediately blurts, because he cannot keep his mouth shut and he already misses the way hosuh oh-so-everly plants the tiniest kisses onto his skin, like marking them into little temporary tattoees, heat radiating from it, and the way hosuh's lips brush over every time makes a jolt of electricity run down jay's spine, like as if hosuh was painting his skin with constellations of the night stars onto his skin. 

and hosuh lets out a small little huff, which translates from hosuh-speech into: _'i thought so'._

"earlier," jay clears his throat. "when we were talking about.. families, and, stuff." god, he is _such_ a disaster. and hosuh makes a humming noise in question that makes jay gulp. _okay, well,_ he thinks. _here goes nothing i guess._ "do you.. want one in the future?" 

hosuh pauses in between mid-kisses and jay's breath hitches a bit or so as his eyes meet the other's who glanced up at the question. 

"i do," hosuh says. "not now," he corrects himself quickly, flushing a bit. "but, maybe.. sometime in the future." 

"what if your plans change?" jay asks.

"i don't think they will," hosuh is quick to reply, and it surprises jay how adamant he is, not even pausing to mutter a _'just yet'._

"with me?"

"what?" hosuh asks.

"would you," jay begins, unsure, before taking a deep breath. "family. with me. sometime." he says, like a caveman.

he isn't sure how long he manages to hold his breath in for, as he watches hosuh's reaction, who just simply blinks at him. _is he disgusted?_ jay thinks. _is he weirded out? oh god, i've screwed up a simple question that wasn't supposed to radiate homo vibes in the first place, god, was this a confession? is that what hosuh thinks?_ nomally he'd expected rose petals and candlelight on dining tables as a potential first confession but he'd practically just confessed. on a saturday. when he was sitting on the floor. still in a simple t-shirt and long jogging pants, basically his usual pyjamas and not some fancy tux suit.

"i—" hosuh starts, and jay braces himself for all the potential ways he could be friend-zoned, rejected, declined. _it's okay,_ he thinks, if hosuh were to reject him. _it's no big deal._ he can simply just avoid any confrontation with hosuh and hurl himself out the nearest window whenever he makes eye-contact with hosuh from now on. _no big deal,_ he repeats to himself, shoulders tense. _i can deal with this. it's been almost a year of pining, what's several more gonna do?_

but then there's this dreading thought creeping up on him as he thinks, _what if hosuh leaves?_

"i would like that." 

and oh, all thoughts vanish from jay's head. no thoughts, head empty, as all his other doubts are practically wiped away, insecurities drowned out and he feels like he had just stuck his head underwater as he repeats hosuh's words in his mind. he wasn't hallucinating, right? not dreaming? if he were to pinch himself he wouldn't wake up from a dream, correct? 

"pinch me," he says.

"you're not dreaming." hosuh says in an amused tone, as if he had read jay's exact thoughts, with the way his eyes are glimmering in a knowing way.

"oh," jay mumbles, still recovering from shock. "that's, cool." 

"hm." is all hosuh says, as he returns back to planting more silky kisses onto his skin, like he's never gonna give jay a break from getting a stroke every 2 seconds. 

"you still haven't finished drinking your hot chocolate." jay points out, voice already wrecked into a hoarse whisper. he remembered spotting hosuh's familiar favorite dull green mug and as he stalkish—ly, no, curiously peered over, he still saw remains of some soft brown liquid, and he'd assume hosuh hadn't finished drinking it due to the recent events earlier in the morning.

"you noticed?" hosuh asks, surprised, acting like as if jay hadn't practically wormed into hosuh's life in order to know and memorize his basic routine by now.

"i've always noticed." he replies. _i've always noticed things about you,_ are the words that go unsaid but not unheard.

"i'll re-heat it later." hosuh simply says, and magically, somehow his fingers are now fondling with the blonde strands of jay's hair. _oh,_ he thinks. this is a feeling he's never used to before, but in a way, he likes it, and he feels himself slipping away from the world without a care, because hosuh is here with him, carding his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp just a tiny bit, just the way he likes it with the way hosuh's untrimmed nails gently scratch his head. 

"we still need to clean up the room and dishes." jay's voice is faint, almost inaudible. everything just feels so nice and euphoric, as warmth buzzes to the tip of his fingers. for the first time in a very long time, he feels relaxed, as if his body was floating in the midst of the water, pleasantly drowning in hosuh's endless blue eyes. 

"we do." hosuh agrees, but neither of them make a move to get up from where they were.

and so they stay like that, hosuh occassionaly humming the tunes he heard earlier from the radio station a couple days ago, and jay delightfully slipping in and out of consciousness, struggling to stay awake, as he feels like he's a cat whose lazing about in the afternoon, sunbathing in the warmth that was hosuh, like he was a sunflower and hosuh was his sun, and he'll always face and turn towards the other, blooming like a flower on the first day of spring.

for a brief moment, he thinks, his mind running to endless scenarios of how their day _should've_ gone according to plan if it weren't for what happened today earlier. was it fate's intention? if the kid hadn't appeared would hosuh still have his fingers entangled into jay's hair and would his lips brush over jay's skin? he thinks of a whole other entire alternate universe where jay could be enjoying his saturday, with or without hosuh's embrace.

but as he lies in this current universe, on the floor in the middle of the empty apartment with multiple books and wooden blocks and toys haphazardly laid across the floor, he thinks he wouuld not have wanted to change a single thing. he lets himself slip into unconsciousness as the last thought he thinks of is, yeah, what a wild saturday it was today. unlike any other, and despite all that, he enjoys it nonetheless. in no universe would he expected that he would have to spend his saturday morning helping hosuh caring for a child with absolutely no experience whatsoever, and he wouldn't have expected it _at all_ that the day would end with him falling asleep in hosuh's arms.

it's way past 7pm of a saturday evening. and jay thinks he could not have asked for anything better. 

**Author's Note:**

> if u happen to notice any typos/haven't laughed at my dry sense of humor then i simply do not exist. ♡ 
> 
> so that happened ^__^; hope u enjoyed!! say thanks to clov and halo for making me bust out this long ass jaysuh fic :,) bc our gc is filled with jaysuh and then i just went [sadly opens new document] anyways ahaha thank u if you've managed to read it past this far! comments n kudos's are very appreciated!!


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